What is our reaction when we see them?
Or them?
We will probably look at them with derision and stay clear away from them. We will be judgmental, clicking our tongues and staying clear away from them. We are judging the book by its cover. We are passing judgement before we even know them.
How do we treat girls like these when we meet them in a club or bar?
Being full-blooded male, we will probably start to ogle and objectify them, again labelling them as easy and promiscuous.
And them?
How do we treat them then? For some of us, we will probably consider them as being conservative and probably not fun to be with. And maybe a lot more labels that we can think of.
Allow me to share with you a story, my story. It was my last night in England. The next day I will be catching my flight to return to Malaysia for good. I have completed my studies, so I have cleared out from my rented room with a lot of luggage. I have been there for 3 years, after all. I took the train and left for King's Cross Station with all my bags. I never did consider how I will cope with all the bags. Back at the previous town, there were many eager hands to help.
I arrived at the railway station, and it was getting late. I didn't plan properly. I found a trolley that I was able to pile my bags. As I said earlier, I didn't plan properly. My plan was to grab a taxi and dump all my stuff in them. I forgot all about the escalator and that I had to leave the trolley at the bottom and carry my bags up the escalator. It was getting dark, and I was tired and a little bothered. I couldn't find the lift, or it was not functioning.
As I made my way trying to figure out how to get my bags up. I came across these two groups above. They were bald, they had colourful spiky hair, they wore loud clothes and they looked ominous. I swear I thought some of them were snarling at me, just imagine Billy Idol. There were a lot of them, easily twenty of them and they were coming towards me. I was all alone. There wasn't anyone else, and even if there were, seeing these people, many just hurried off.
They came closer and begin to surround me. That's it, that's my life story, being beaten up and mangled in London. I can almost swear my life flashed in front of me. I was trying to lug this huge bag up the escalator while leaving the rest at the bottom, hoping to get them later. Now, I thought, I won't even get to my bags or on the escalator. If something happened to me that night no one would know.
They are now even closer. A man with spiky colourful hair then approached me, he had a girl with similar appenditure on her head beside him. I couldn't hear him at first as I was getting ready to receive the first blow. My mind quickly tried recalling all the Tae Kwon Do moves I used to learn, maybe I can try some moves but there were just too many of them.
Then I heard him speak.
"Do you need help, mate", he asked. I looked at him and said, "Sorry, can you repeat?". He repeated again. And I looked at all these faces. One of them is still snarling. I quickly played scenarios in my mind. If I say no, they might get offended, and I still need to get my bags up and into a taxi. If I say yes? What will happen? Will I be relieved of my bags? Will it get stolen? And I was running all these in my head, I just said "I appreciate that very much."
And before I can say anything, this group carried all my bags up the escalator and even relieved from me the bag that I was carrying. All I had to do was just to walk up the escalator with them. The escalator?
Can you imagine me carrying my bags one by one up this escalator?
Not only did they carry my bags up the escalator, but they also caught a taxi for me and loaded the bags into the taxi. I wanted to give something for their effort all they said was it was our pleasure mate. We saw you struggling for a bit with your bags and thought you may need help. I shook hand with every one of them, punks, skin heads and what have you. They smiled as I shook their hands, and they wished me bon voyage as I wish them the absolute best.
In that brief evening, England that have taught me so much gave me a final lesson that I take heed even up till now. Never judge anybody and anyone. We never know whether they can be friend or foe. Looking at them now, the 2 pictures above there's a little regret that I did not get to know these people better. They dressed and portrayed themselves differently, yet they are just like you and me. It's just a fashion choice. Same as the girls in the club and the girls in hijab, although the hijab is a requirement for women in Islam.
Having had my share of being in clubs, let me just tell you this, girls dressed in that manner in clubs? No, they are not easy and no they are not promiscuous. In fact, the most difficult girls to get to know in clubs are girls and ladies dressed in that manner. They just want to have a good time without us ogling and bothering them. That was another lesson I got when I was in England. But that's another story.
Epilogue
I was accosted or hit the next night though. I was walking minding my own business, just carrying a small backpack. Suddenly, I heard.
"None of that, mate!" And quickly turned and saw a policeman holding the arms of a normally dressed man, he could be drunk, trying to hit my head from behind. I approached the policeman and he said to me, "It's alright, sir. I have got this." And continued to apprehend the potential assailant. He was quickly handcuffed and was pushed on by the policeman into an awaiting police vehicle.
There you have it. I expected to be bashed up by punks and skinheads and that didn't happen. Instead, on a street in London, I was almost assaulted by a normally dressed man and saved by a policeman.
FYI, all these individuals were Caucasians. In my time in England, the people that normally treats us Asians poorly are? Fellow Asians.
![Joie de vivre [zhwaduh-vee-vruh]](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/98d927_9bd54ac5248843daac7bd16909b74bda~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_216,h_216,fp_0.50_0.50,q_95,enc_auto/98d927_9bd54ac5248843daac7bd16909b74bda~mv2.png)
תגובות